Disgrace to All Bank Robbers

     It all started when two psychopathic retards charged into a bank. Of course, they didn’t plan their robbery meticulously, because one of the pedestrians spotted them running across the street with guns in their hands. These two retards were Jack and George. Jack and George had a simple plan for their escape, escape from the back and assimilate into the crowd.

     While they were unlocking the vaults and taking out the money, Jack thought that it would be an excellent idea to cause a dissension about who got more money. The original plan was that Jack would get 55% of the cash, and George 45%. The extra 5% was because Jack planned the whole thing out. While the argument took place, the police were gathering at the front. By the time George helped Jack realize that his plan might get them killed, and that Jack should be lucky that George would be giving him the extra 5%, they finally noticed the red and blue lights that appeared from the police cars that were stationed at the front door.

     This time George planned their way out, but this one turned out to be even more retarded. His demands were simple; bring them a limo with champagne inside, to provide a safe route to the airport, and to give them a private jet that took them to England; or else they would kill one of the hostages. George wanted to be lionized for their robbery. What was even more stupid about these bank robbers was that they left their guns on the table while they picked one of the shackled hostages to take with them. One of the hostages was a policeman, so he jumped across to where the table was located and took one of the guns. He shot both of the idiotic robbers, and then went outside to report to the other policemen-that surrounded the complex- about what happened.

The Failed Assasination Attempt

Anarchy was the right word that described the chaos that was occurring in the main cabinet. Every time someone found out about the conspiracy on the assassination attempt that was going to occur in three hours, were reported dead by a car explosion.

     When in reality, they were apprehended and shackled to a foreign area, tortured, then shot to death. Obama’s State of the Union Speech was occurring in three hours. People in his own cabin wanted him dead because they worried of him being a “socialist”.

     The only problem that the vice president had, was that he was going to be sitting on Obama’s left-hand side. He was going to have to hire a contact killer to carry out his mission. The contract killer is going to go disguised as one of the family members of the nine year-old who died in the Arizona shooting. But, the assassination attempt failed when security caught him. Of course, when they caught him, he was headed to the Federal Bureau for interrogation. Then CNN reported him dead in a car explosion….